Thursday, February 14, 2008

I've been carrying on with life...found no reason to disrupt my lifestyle just because ISC's around the corner. After all, as I often say nowadays, "Etai toh jibon!"
And indeed, this is the only life I'll ever live...I'll never be able to go over these days again...and when ISC won't affect my future, why should I be so bothered about it?
Unfortunately most people don't agree with me here, and therefore the revelation that I've just been carrying on as usual has not really gone down that well with everybody, and the notable inclusions in that category are my parents.
While my dad is content simply passing sarcastic comments noting how much I'm studying (he's been through the whole phase with my brother as well, so he's quite alright), my mom keeps getting worried because I'm least bothered about my boards. And although she knows she's worrying for no reason, she'll worry nonetheless and get overtly emotional.

I feel very frustrated with my lack of creative form. I did write a script for the dramatics in school, but I wasn't so pleased with my work. I haven't written poetry for quite a while, and the last couple of pieces I wrote weren't too great either. Although I shouldn't blame myself for my lack of quality, I'm still young enough to get more good stuff out, but I still feel I have much to say and haven't said it yet.
Can't wait for college. The idea of being in a new and more challenging atmosphere greatly excites me, and the greater liberties aren't bad either. For someone as free spirited and radical as me, I can't wait to be more self-reliant and more independent than I have been so far. It's a prospect that thrills me, and I can't wait to live through new experiences, new times, new places and discover myself and the world. I have a world to win!

Tuesday, February 05, 2008

I'm just surviving at the moment. Neither am I doing too much of studying, nor am I doing much else. It's a crazy time, and I'm going into a sort of depression, driven on by various different things in my life. I really don't know what I'm gonna do.
It helps to spend time out of the house...I just feel extremely closed down when I'm inside the place. But that also ends up counter-productive at times, since there isn't much else to do. It's bringing on a kind of frustration that's really getting to me at times now.
I can't wait to get of here...the sooner this phase gets over, the better. Unfortunately it seems I won't really get much peace before May...but whether I'll still be in a good enough state by then remains to be seen.