I know I've always been negative and pessimistic about love, and very often I've believed that love does not exist in our world. How then, can I justify myself when I feel the pangs of unrequited love? Do I not hold myself to blame, since I often thought myself incapable of loving at all.
In truth, love has been the one thing I've reflected on the most, and yet I never had a hope of loving.
Can I justify by any means whatsoever my feelings? When I used to doubt the capacity of others to love, can I claim to love when it's my own instance?
And so, I hesitate to call it love - but what else can you call it? Calling it by any other name doesn't do it justice. In a state when poetry flows out of sheer feeling and days and nights are spent simply reflecting on sweet memories, in a state when you feel totally fucked up because you just know how screwed up you are in your mind - what do you call it?
What do you do then, when you feel as such and yet can't do a damn thing about it?