"I know I'm mad...I've been mad for fucking years" - that was a menacing line from the legendary Dark Side of The Moon album by Pink Floyd. And I feel much the same way...I've been mad for fucking years now...I'm not normal, I never was normal...but now I'm in a phase where I just seem to have gone off the edge of neurotic behaviour.
Or maybe it's just my dramatist's brain overdosing on the melodrama...but I can't help it...that's me. "You used to laugh about/Everybody that was hanging out/Now you don't talk so loud/Now you don't seem so proud"...yet again Dylan manages to sum up my situation more aptly than I ever could. I used to find this so funny when I saw other people in this kind of state...and now I'm in it myself, it doesn't seem quite as funny.
I realise I haven't revealed what this state, but only my close friends know what kind of situation I'm in right now, and it's a testimony to our friendship that they've been so supportive thus far.
Maybe the answer isn't that complex after all, but I still try my hardest to avoid it. I'm an idiot and I know it, yet I try my best not to show it.